(Please note: this is a very opinionated blog post. I hopefully won't offend anyone...so read at your own risk.)
When we decided to have a baby, we had no idea that it would take a VERY long time to conceive. We're thankful for God's perfect timing...but lemme tell ya, it wasn't OUR timing! Along our journey, from "off the pill" (oh, yeah, I have a picture of that!) to "we're pregnant!" I learned a few things that I thought I would share...
1) NEVER NEVER NEVER ask if a woman is pregnant. I don't care if she looks like she's going to burst tomorrow. This is ALWAYS a NO NO. Not only did I feel terribly FAT if someone asked me that question before I was pregnant, but when we were hoping to conceive, it also reminded me of something painful and difficult in my life. A BIG NO NO.
2) Be sensitive of the fact that people around you may be trying to conceive. It's not something I thought of before it happened to me, I will admit. I would freely ask couples, "When are you planning on having a baby?" and other such questions. But, we just DON'T KNOW someone else's story, so be thoughtful about your questions and comments.
3) PEOPLE don't make babies. GOD makes babies.
4) After watching dozens (hundreds, it seemed!) friends and family members get pregnant and have their babies over the course of our long journey, I worried that when it was finally "our turn" that it wouldn't feel special. I mean, I am used to being the FIRST at everything (David and I are both the oldest). I reminded myself that I was never going to be the first to have a baby - lol! But, I was still worried it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful after watching so many other people go through it...would it be mundane? NOPE. It still feels SO VERY SPECIAL! Thank goodness!
5) I will admit that at the beginning of this whole thing, I wanted a girl (born in the spring, please). And, I wanted a house with a white wrap-around porch and a perfect little baby nursery. After so long...I LET IT ALL GO. I honestly don't care about the gender...I just want a healthy baby! And, we're in a little apartment...so no nursery for baby...just a little nook in our bedroom. But, ya know, it's just fine. I was thankful for this season, as a lot of my control issues just diminished...and it's all working out just fine!
Thanks for listening to my tid-bits :)
And...a few fun photos from yesterdays Autumn walk in the park!
I love my puppy! Jolie is going to be such a good big sister ;)
LOVE MY BELLY!
8 comments:
You look radiant, Erika! I'm so freaking happy for you.
You also make some very good points, and now I will vent. :) Haha! I get so annoyed when people just assume that Micah and I are planning to have our own children..."When are you going to have kids?" is a REALLY hard question for me to handle sometimes, because the majority of people simply assume that's in our future. It's so hard to answer, "Well, we actually aren't planning on doing that...we really want to adopt." And then have them give us a long lecture on how we should want our own biological children because it's rewarding...and, while that may be true, God has just placed the choice of adoption in my heart SO deeply, and they don't understand that. I recently decided that, to answer the question "When are you going to have kids?" I respond to people, "It's all in God's timing." Because you're SO RIGHT. IT IS GOD'S TIMING! Whether He wants us to have biological children or adopt, it's HIS plans and HIS timing!!! And His timing IS perfect, and that's all that really matters.
So...all this to say...I'm so glad for this blessing in your life, and that God's timing has been shown to you! You were always a happy gal to me, but now you just seem...incredibly happier. I love it!
Christianna - Thank you so much for your comments!!! You're very sweet and supportive.
AND I TOTALLY AGREE! You make a really good point - you are in another situation that people just DON'T SEEM TO THINK OF! I am glad you reminded me of that situation too - we had met some lovely people that are in the same boat: they feel God really wants them to adopt. And, that is such a beautiful calling that He puts on people's lives!
We actually had a friend lecture us about how "God's first command is to go and multiply the earth." It was so hurtful! I couldn't believe he was saying that to us! If God wants us to multiply, than He will call you to that! If He wants you to help children in other ways - via adoption, or teaching, or counselling, or camp, or just loving them - He will make that clear in His ways.
It's so good to hear from you. As always, thoughtful and though-provoking comments from you my dear! Lots of love to ya!
You look absolutely adorable pregnant Erika! It totally suits you.
Love your baby bump! You're so right it really is all in God's timing, and one thing I've learned it's just better to listen no matter how crazy it seems, He knows so much better than we do but our human condition often includes so much arrogance thinking were in control of anything or that we know best! God had a plan and perfect timing for your sweet babe, and that truly is a beautiful thing.
PS I warned you the book would work!!!! Hey now that your done with it, I know someone else who needs it.
You are glowing with happiness and sunshine!!! So thrilled for you!!!!
I'm sure Janet could relate to your post. We were years waiting for Jennifer to arrive and got ALL the questions.
Stumbled upon your blog because I saw your FB pic that you were expecting, so first... congratulations!! Thanks so much for this post... I need this reminder daily. We've been trying to concieve again for 1.5 years now and I know the heartache of seeing everyone around you have no trouble. Thanks for the reminder of whose plan it is {I may have to read this every day} :o)
Hey Vanessa -
Hang in there! You'll be in my prayers - glad this was a good inspiration for you :)
HUGS
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